Mommy and the Cruddy, Miserable, Lousy, Ghastly Day

I think it is important to start this by saying that my Great Days FAR outweigh my Bad Days. I am super blessed to be able to stay home with my children and teach them...even though I thought that would be something that I'd never do. God has a unique way of taking something you swore you'd never ever do, and having you do it. You know...like driving a mini van and homeschooling your children. Both things I said I would NEVER EVER DO!! Now, I do them both happily. Some days are just more happy than others, especially when it comes to school. The greatest part though, is that we woke up today and had an EXCELLENT DAY TODAY!!

The following is partly fiction, partly non-fiction, but all 100% possible. Most of the things that happened in the following story have happened to us...I just embellished a little.

I hope you enjoy my spin on "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day". If you haven't read that story and you can get your hand on a copy, read it. It's super cute!


  Mommy and the Cruddy, Miserable, Lousy, Ghastly Day                              

I went to sleep without a crick in my neck and woke up with one. And then, on the way to the freezer to get my ice pack, I stubbed my toe, woke up the dog, had to let the dog out, and then had to wait on the dog for 20 minutes to finish her business outside. It was only 4:30 in the morning, but I could already tell it was going to be a cruddy, miserable, lousy, ghastly day.

At breakfast Syd found a pretty blue marker in her pop-tart box, and G-Lou found a sparkly pink flash light in her cereal box, and Rosie found a new pencil and paper to draw her funny pictures that she draws so well in her cereal box. All I found in the fridge for me was that I was out of coffee creamer and my favorite yogurt.

I think I’ll move to the coast.

In the line at the post office I saw three mommies that were there without their children. I had all three of mine with me. They were hanging off the hand rails, chasing each other and being way too loud. I told them to stop hanging off the hand rails, chasing each other and to stop being so loud. None of them even acknowledged that I spoke to them.

I could tell it was going to be a cruddy, miserable, lousy, ghastly day.

During school I tried over and over to explain to Syd and Rosie that a quarter was worth 25 cents and that there were four of them in a dollar. Only G-Lou got it.

During our grammar lesson, Syd was grouchy because she thought the antonym game we were playing was actually a race, but it wasn't. I tried to explain what opposite meant and Rosie kept giving me words that were the same. Why do we have to do opposites, anyway? G-Lou was just irritated because the other two were irritated. Tablets were taken away. Children were grounded. I could tell that it was going to be a cruddy, miserable, lousy, ghastly day.

I could tell because Syd said I wasn't her favorite best mommy any more. She said she didn't need one right now. She said she just needed her daddy.

I'm sorry honey, but your tablet is mine until further notice. I hope that the next time you start to be nasty to your mommy, you’ll please try and think about things before you speak them out loud. And I also hope that I wake up at the coast.

At lunch there was a PB&N (peanut butter & Nutella) sandwich for Syd, a chicken sandwich for Rosie, and a ham sandwich on a hamburger bun (G-Lou’s favorite way to eat a sandwich) for G-Lou.  The leftovers that I had decided I would eat had gone bad. And I couldn't even drink any coffee. Because someone forgot to get creamer at the grocery store.

It was a cruddy, miserable, lousy, ghastly day.

That’s what this day was, because after school, when I had had about as much crapola from the kids as I could take, my neck started hurting even more. I went to the chiropractor and she told me that my neck was so out of whack that she’d need to see me 5 more times next week, at least.

Next week, I’m moving to the coast.

On the way out the door, I tripped, and the girls laughed, and I’d had enough, so I started to cry, and after I started to cry, one of them called me a cry baby. And, while I was getting on to them for being not very nice I realized that I wasn't being very nice either.

I said, “I am having a cruddy, miserable, lousy, ghastly day."  Then one of them said, “I’m sorry, Mommy.”

So…I thought maybe a milkshake would make everyone’s day a little better. We pulled up to the milkshake place and they told us that the ice cream machine was broken. Who doesn't have at least two ice cream machines at a place known for ice cream treats?

When we got home we went upstairs to work on an art project, part of that project had to be ironed, and while using the iron, I burned my finger, and then I discovered that someone had left some of the new dry erase markers un-capped, and then someone spilled glitter all over the floor and someone was caught playing with my phone.

I think they called the coast.

It was a cruddy, miserable, lousy, ghastly day.

I was supposed to put a roast in the slow cooker for dinner when I got up this morning.  I forgot. My husband called to remind me. The same husband that forgot my coffee creamer.

When it was shower time, the girls forgot to put the curtain IN the bath tub while taking a shower so there was water everywhere, they left toothpaste in the sink after they brushed their teeth, and none of them would stop complaining about having to go to bed. I really don’t like it when they complain about something that I’d love nothing more than to do.

When it was finally my bed time, over twenty hours after I’d gotten up, my neck hurt so bad that I had trouble getting comfortable. Then, two kids came in to my room because THEY couldn't sleep, and my husband was snoring so loud that a man using a chain saw would have asked him to be quiet.

It has been a cruddy, miserable, lousy, ghastly day.

Some days are just like that, I suppose.

Even at the coast. 

I'm a horrible blogger

It's no secret. I'm a horrible blogger. Last time I posted, we were in the second week of school and nobody had died. I'm happy to report that now, in our 15th (or so) week of school, and we are still (even with Daddy subbing a day) casualty free!

Since my last post, we've been to Disney World for a fantastic five night field trip, Heritage Village for homeschool day, and the State Fair of Texas, and had Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years!

Wanna know what my favorite part of Homeschooling is though? I mean the trips and time off are amazing, but my very favorite thing to see during a school day are the light bulb moments. When one of them gets how to do their times tables or when one of them that HATES to read sits down and reads a whole book (small book, of course) to me and the other two girls. When they're sounding out a word that they've never read before and it just clicks. Those are the best moments ever!

Now, don't get me wrong. Being able to switch our schedule around with the freedom that homeschooling offers is the bomb diggity, but it's those little moments that mean the most!

I'll try to be better. I'm sure I say that with every post. I'm actually thinking I'm going to make a Hansens on Asphalt page on facebook so I can keep my personal page for personal stuff and bombard only those interested in my travel and schooling with the Hansens on Asphalt. (yeah right...it'd probably be both places lol)

Ok...Off to make dinner. Ooo...Maybe a little home ec for homework tonight?

Still hanging in there...

Well, we are nearing the end of week two, and I must say, so far so good. I'm learning a lot about my children. For instance, my oldest can read WAY better than she wants to let anyone know. She dislikes, can't stand, loathes reading! But if you remind her that mommy is her teacher and has all the power of the school room and will take her tv away, she perks right up and reads just about anything. A-MAZING!! She can also color pretty good when she takes her time! It's something else she has ZERO affection for. Zero. I always loved to color, so it's not something that I can identify with.

I have learned even more that my middle girl LOVES to read. I knew she liked it, but it's becoming apparent that she loves it. She is also a teacher pleaser. She's forever asking if her handwriting is good, if she reads well, and if there is anything she can do for me. She's taken it upon herself to read a devotional to the girls every morning, as well. They're all sweet, but she's proving to be especially sweet in the classroom and it's starting to spill over to the rest of her day.  

Then we have my youngest. She is certainly the stinker of the bunch, but she's so funny. She's also numero-uno at trying my patience. She won't stop talking, and she dislikes can't stand writing, almost as much as my oldest can't stand reading. Like the oldest though, if you bribe her or threaten her (with a visit to the Principal's office with her daddy), then she'll pretty much do anything you want...only very slow, and with out being quiet. Oh, Lord above, please help me teach her the art of being quiet. Even as I'm typing this, she talking about everything. Lucky for her, it's everything having to do with her practice writing. 

We are kind of getting in to a groove of things. We've done this for 8 days now and so far I'm really enjoying it. I'm finding that i want to teach them so much more than what's in their curriculum. I'm sure there will be days when we just 'flush the format'. I'm also sure that those will probably be some of the best days. Which brings me to what I know will be the bestest days of all!! Field trips! Oh, I am so ready for field trips season that it's not even funny! (PS...field trip season means cool weather!) 

Our first science experiment

They love this picnic game. You can use it for learning fractions if you're creative...maybe one day I'll be creative. :-)

Just like the pic says...Homeschool PE Rocks! 

Day One...

Well, today was our first day of homeschool!! Graci was up with the sun and I practically had to drag the other two out of bed. Sydney told me she thought school was boring and that she should be able to stay in her room and watch TV all day because she learned plenty doing that. Uh...negative.

Once everyone was up we got dressed, had breakfast, and waited for Daddy to come home and take pictures. Aside from, "Have you found a co-op yet?", the next most asked question has been, "So...ya gonna let them go to school in the PJ's?" Again...negative. The question did inspire some of our pictures from this morning though.

                                            Yes, yes this will go over nicely, don't you think?

                                 So cute. How could I not want them in their sloppy PJ's and robes?

Yeah...Never mind. We see that we have a faker here. We couldn't get her to shut her eyes to save her life. 

See!! Tricked ya! They even all had shoes on. Seriously? I didn't even have on shoes. Oh...lookie there. There's a flip flop, a small blanket and a skirt on the floor behind them that I asked a certain 8 year old to pick up yesterday. I'm totally shocked that it didn't get done. Totally. 

We actually had a really good first day. I was very pleased by how well they listened and how little trouble they gave me. I know it will be a challenge. I know there will be days when I want to pull their my hair out, but I can honestly say with out a doubt that we are doing the right thing. A gal that I know always says that it's a good homeschool day when the day has come and gone with no crying. Today was a no crying day! 

A month from today....

One month from today we (I mostly) will start homeschooling the girls. We (I) will take the responsibility out of the hands of the women (and a couple of men) that went to school for years to learn how to do this, and bare that load ourselves (myself). We (I) will try and do this with as much grace, dignity, and humility that I (we?) can possibly muster up.

I see me growing in to my grace, dignity, and humility. Possibly very slowly.

I've got two children that are super excited about this new venture, and one, the one that inspired this mission, that can't wait for school to start so she can see her friends. I told her (again) this evening that she wouldn't be going back to her school this year, but that she's already got promises from a couple of people from school to come by on as many Fridays as they can to have breakfast with her. She looked at me, rolled her eyes and said, "Ok." She's hot, then she's cold. I guess we'll know when school starts.

Speaking of school starting...Have I mentioned that it's a month from today?

As much as I'd like to fancy myself an ace at elementary education (after all, I passed all those grades all those years ago...with ease, I might add), I fear that the kids know more about how to run a classroom at this point than I do. I see things all over the house that Graci has written when they're playing school. Sometimes I think to myself..."Maybe I should let her teach the first couple of weeks so I can get a handle on how a classroom is supposed to be run." I'm sure they will teach me a lot this year, same as I am hoping to teach them many things. (by the grace of God, and with help from my husband)

In happy homeschool news....

WE GOT DESKS!!! I was fortunate enough that a gal at our church tagged me in a post on facebook of girl that was selling tons of classroom stuff. She had the desks and chairs that I wanted and I got three of each for $45!! We have folding tables that we can do projects on, but I'm so happy that they're going to have their own space. (I'm hoping that that will keep the fighting to a minimum, thus keeping my sanity intact)

Any of my 'paid for teaching' or 'not paid for teaching' friends...Please feel free to let your fountain of experience flow my way. Like for instance, how many weeks of review from the previous year do you do at the beginning of the new school year? I'm counting on at least three. Oh, please let it be at least three. I have no clue about this and would greatly appreciate one of my super smart friends to let me in on what they do or what is standard.

As the year month week progresses, I'm sure I'll have many more questions. I know you'll help me with wonderful and insightful answers.

In all seriousness, please say your prayers for us during this school year. I feel like God has led me to do this, so in it I want him to be praised the whole way! I want my girls to learn and laugh like crazy this year and one day I want them to look back and be thankful for this opportunity that the good Lord has given us!

We're in Texas...I just saw a Cracker Barrel sign, Mommy.

I learned something from this last trip. I can't wait to home-school. I can't. I know it will be tough, but oh the things these kids will learn on their travels. They've already learned how to travel. They are most excellent at it. In fact, they look forward to it. Not only am I looking forward to all that they will learn, I'm looking forward to all that I'm going to learn with them. No longer will we have to just sit and read about the first thanksgiving...we will take them there and show them where it happened. (I think it happened on Turkey Run Road in West Virginia...I'm totally kidding) I fully intend to make them little inspirations to others when they tell tales of their travels many years down the road.

We hit 15 states on this trip alone! The girls get excited (esp Graci) every time we come to a state line. Audrey thinks we've crossed over in to Texas every time she sees a Cracker Barrel sign. And Sydney...Sydney might not want to be gone long, but she's still a great little traveler.

Ok...on to the trip...We hit Texas (of course...we can't NOT mention the mother land), Oklahoma, Kansas (saw the original Mater there), Missouri (went up in the arch...awesome!), Illinois, Indiana (Santa Claus pics in June ROCK!!), Kentucky (Visited some graves of the McCoy clan...a clan in which I am a descendant of), Ohio, West Virginia (visited my family, went swimming, took a night time rail trail walk the night of the super moon, took a grandma via wheelchair for a daytime trail walk, caught lightning bugs, went fishing, took tractor rides...the list is long), Virginia, Tennessee (Lookout Mountain is beautiful), Georgia (just a corner), Alabama (boring), Mississippi, and Louisiana (more boring).

We came home to Hansen sitting out in the front lawn waiting for us to get there. We missed him terribly and were soooo happy to get home to him. Graci wanted to know something the next day though...When could we go on another trip...this time, with Daddy. :-) Makes my heart happy that they love the asphalt, too!

We have many things planned. Lots and lots of learning trips, both big and small.  Trips to the museums and zoos during the week when few are there. Trips to the Grand Canyon. Trips to our Grand parents. From here on out, the Hansen's will tear up the asphalt when we can!

Stay tuned for funnier posts about my kids wanting to learn too much and me having to actually MAKE them watch TV now and then. (I very well could have that backward)

A new journey for the Hansen's on Asphalt

We are embarking on a new adventure come next school year. We will be homeschoolers. I, the very person that feels they couldn't teach ice to melt, will be trying to teach my children. I'm a little scared by this, but strangely at peace. I know that my Jesus wouldn't take me in a direction that I couldn't handle.

This brings me to this blog. Hansen's On Asphalt. We picked the title because of our love for traveling. We'd take a road trip every weekend if we could. Until now, our travels have been limited to the burning months of summer or holidays when prices are hiked up and places are crowded. We are looking forward to being able to take our kids where ever we want, when ever we want. While most homeschooling moms that I've talked to say that they never take (or take very little) school work with them when they got on vacation, if we travel during the school year, we plan on taking some of our studies with us and using the trip as a hands on learning experience for the girls. (and us!) I've traveled all over this country, but haven't, until recent years, stopped to explore any of it. More and more we are enjoying taking the road less traveled. Now...we can enjoy these roads when it isn't so stinking hot outside.

While we will enjoy traveling any time the opportunity presents itself, the homeschooling journey will be a journey all of it's own. Whether we're on the road or at home, I feel like it's an adventure worth documenting. While Hansen's On Asphalt started as a travel blog that would go with us on our journeys across the country, I'm hoping it evolves in to blog that helps me keep up with this new journey of ours. I can picture it now...We're sitting upstairs, me at my desk, the girls at theirs, and they're diligently working on their assignments that I taught to the effortlessly as though I'd been teaching for years and years. I'm sure I'll have plenty of time to kick back and let the world know about what a breeze homeschooling is. Mozart will be playing quietly in the background, butterflies will flit about outside the window, assignments will be completed in a timely manner with perfect spelling and grammar. And I'm certain there will be no frustration in my little school room upstairs at all!

(Insert that sound of a needle being drug across a record and everything coming to a screeching halt *HERE*)

Wow...I didn't know I could type and dream all at the same time.

You get the gist of it. We will do the very best we can with our children with help from Jesus, family and friends. We will take the time to learn things that otherwise wouldn't be touched in school, AND the Hansen's will hit the asphalt every chance they get!