I think it is important to start this by saying that my Great Days FAR outweigh my Bad Days. I am super blessed to be able to stay home with my children and teach them...even though I thought that would be something that I'd never do. God has a unique way of taking something you swore you'd never ever do, and having you do it. You know...like driving a mini van and homeschooling your children. Both things I said I would NEVER EVER DO!! Now, I do them both happily. Some days are just more happy than others, especially when it comes to school. The greatest part though, is that we woke up today and had an EXCELLENT DAY TODAY!!
The following is partly fiction, partly non-fiction, but all 100% possible. Most of the things that happened in the following story have happened to us...I just embellished a little.
I hope you enjoy my spin on "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day". If you haven't read that story and you can get your hand on a copy, read it. It's super cute!
Mommy and the Cruddy, Miserable, Lousy, Ghastly Day
Mommy and the Cruddy, Miserable, Lousy, Ghastly Day
I went to sleep without a crick in my neck and woke up with one. And then, on the way to the freezer to get my ice pack, I stubbed my toe, woke up the dog, had to let the dog out, and then had to wait on the dog for 20 minutes to finish her business outside. It was only 4:30 in the morning, but I could already tell it was going to be a cruddy, miserable, lousy, ghastly day.
At breakfast Syd found a pretty blue marker in her pop-tart box, and G-Lou found a sparkly pink flash light in her cereal box, and Rosie found a new pencil and paper to draw her funny pictures that she draws so well in her cereal box. All I found in the fridge for me was that I was out of coffee creamer and my favorite yogurt.
I think I’ll move to the coast.
In the line at the post office I saw three mommies that were there without their children. I had all three of mine with me. They were hanging off the hand rails, chasing each other and being way too loud. I told them to stop hanging off the hand rails, chasing each other and to stop being so loud. None of them even acknowledged that I spoke to them.
I could tell it was going to be a cruddy, miserable, lousy, ghastly day.
During school I tried over and over to explain to Syd and Rosie that a quarter was worth 25 cents and that there were four of them in a dollar. Only G-Lou got it.
During our grammar lesson, Syd was grouchy because she thought the antonym game we were playing was actually a race, but it wasn't. I tried to explain what opposite meant and Rosie kept giving me words that were the same. Why do we have to do opposites, anyway? G-Lou was just irritated because the other two were irritated. Tablets were taken away. Children were grounded. I could tell that it was going to be a cruddy, miserable, lousy, ghastly day.
I could tell because Syd said I wasn't her favorite best mommy any more. She said she didn't need one right now. She said she just needed her daddy.
I'm sorry honey, but your tablet is mine until further notice. I hope that the next time you start to be nasty to your mommy, you’ll please try and think about things before you speak them out loud. And I also hope that I wake up at the coast.
At lunch there was a PB&N (peanut butter & Nutella) sandwich for Syd, a chicken sandwich for Rosie, and a ham sandwich on a hamburger bun (G-Lou’s favorite way to eat a sandwich) for G-Lou. The leftovers that I had decided I would eat had gone bad. And I couldn't even drink any coffee. Because someone forgot to get creamer at the grocery store.
It was a cruddy, miserable, lousy, ghastly day.
That’s what this day was, because after school, when I had had about as much crapola from the kids as I could take, my neck started hurting even more. I went to the chiropractor and she told me that my neck was so out of whack that she’d need to see me 5 more times next week, at least.
Next week, I’m moving to the coast.
On the way out the door, I tripped, and the girls laughed, and I’d had enough, so I started to cry, and after I started to cry, one of them called me a cry baby. And, while I was getting on to them for being not very nice I realized that I wasn't being very nice either.
I said, “I am having a cruddy, miserable, lousy, ghastly day." Then one of them said, “I’m sorry, Mommy.”
So…I thought maybe a milkshake would make everyone’s day a little better. We pulled up to the milkshake place and they told us that the ice cream machine was broken. Who doesn't have at least two ice cream machines at a place known for ice cream treats?
When we got home we went upstairs to work on an art project, part of that project had to be ironed, and while using the iron, I burned my finger, and then I discovered that someone had left some of the new dry erase markers un-capped, and then someone spilled glitter all over the floor and someone was caught playing with my phone.
I think they called the coast.
It was a cruddy, miserable, lousy, ghastly day.
I was supposed to put a roast in the slow cooker for dinner when I got up this morning. I forgot. My husband called to remind me. The same husband that forgot my coffee creamer.
When it was shower time, the girls forgot to put the curtain IN the bath tub while taking a shower so there was water everywhere, they left toothpaste in the sink after they brushed their teeth, and none of them would stop complaining about having to go to bed. I really don’t like it when they complain about something that I’d love nothing more than to do.
When it was finally my bed time, over twenty hours after I’d gotten up, my neck hurt so bad that I had trouble getting comfortable. Then, two kids came in to my room because THEY couldn't sleep, and my husband was snoring so loud that a man using a chain saw would have asked him to be quiet.
It has been a cruddy, miserable, lousy, ghastly day.
Some days are just like that, I suppose.
Even at the coast.
