Dad's been under a lot of pressure at work...

I saw this picture a couple of days ago and it made me giggle. I mean...that's a lot of pressure.

It got me thinking about being a police officer, and how much pressure my husband, and the thousands of men and women in law enforcement must deal with on a daily basis. I know that every second of the job isn't stressful. My husband enjoys his job immensely, and I do, too. It's part of the "asphalt" we travel on. We've been on this particular trip together for over 17 years now, and he was on the journey long before I came along. I'm proud of him and the job that he does for our department, and I'm proud of our department and all that they do in our community. 

 The more I looked at that cute little cartoon, the more I envisioned it with a police hat, badge, and radio. I mean, the pressure that law enforcement has been under lately has been huge. Monumental, even. I see our country's leaders doing very little to help our men and women out, and everything they can do to make their jobs harder. I see people on facebook every day bashing police officers left and right, and while I tend to let it roll off my back most of the time, sometimes it's hard. And, please, don't get me started on our media. I mean, who cares who they hurt in their process of reporting "the news". The officer has a family, friends, and a life outside of law enforcement? So what? If it bleeds, it leads.

 I watch my husband go to work every day, strapping on his vest and his duty belt, and pray to Jesus that at the end of the day he's safe and sound where he belongs...here with me and his three kids. The vast majority of police officers are selfless people. They leave their families daily to go out and serve and protect a public that seems to not care much about what happens to them, that ridicules their every move, and then complains when they don't come running to their rescue in the allotted 26 seconds after they dial 911. These LEOs miss holidays, birthdays, and nights and weekends with their families so that they can go protect the very public that judges their every move because of their badge.

I feel like our town is very blessed. We have a local government that supports our officers, and our citizens seem to be very thankful for them as well. Our guys and gals do a great job getting out in to the community and getting to know the people around town. But, I see my friends with husbands in other departments though that aren't as fortunate,  I see the men and women on the news that have lost their ability to work because of the media and ignorance of the general public, and I see the officers that have paid the ultimate price of serving the people with their lives. It just breaks my heart. Parts of our country are so shattered and sad. I'm amazed at strength that our LEOs have, and their ability to still go on doing this thankless job even with the pressure they are under. I am so very thankful for them though, and I always will be. 

I asked a friend of mine if he could re-work the picture for me. I know that all jobs come with their own type of pressures, but when I see this cute little cartoon with a police theme, I think it speaks volumes. If you're out and about, and you see an officer, please take a second and say thank you. It means so much to them to know that people really do care. 

So, I quit homeschooling today...

Rarely do I ever get to the point of such frustration that I want to throw in the towel. Rarely. Today is a rare occasion. I actually decided that I was going to stop homeschooling. I'd had enough. I was done. Finished. After explaining the same thing 9 times to the very child that I'm doing this for the most, and after 9 times of her telling me that she understood the directions but wouldn't work on her assignment, I simply quit. I had a meltdown moment, and quit. Tapped out. Raised a white flag. Threw my hands up. Walked away from. Bowed out of. Quit. The words, "I quit", actually came out of my mouth. I believe it went like this..."That's it. I quit! I'm done. Figure it out yourself. Public school, here we come. I'M QUITTING." And then I stormed down the stairs.

Wow...nice tantrum you threw there right in front of your kids.

I sat in my room and had a nice cry for about three minutes, and then I came back upstairs. You could have heard a pin drop. I think to myself, "Wow...that tantrum really worked! Alright! I got this! I'm not quitting! EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!!!"

Wrong.

I'd been hoodwinked.

The instructions for the most simple of tasks had gone in one ear and out the other. No work had been done. I started to get frustrated again, only in a softer voice, and then she says, "Well, I didn't understand." 

Light-bulb

She didn't understand. She told me she understood 9 times. But she really didn't. And that's ok. It's more than ok, because anywhere else, she wouldn't get a 10th time to try and understand. Maybe not even a 4th or 5th. Things would just move on because they had to move on. Here, in our home, she can take the time that she needs. Sometimes, as the person who is one of her biggest advocates and the one that loves her most in this world, it's hard to remember that. Just because she can remember an entire movie, front to back, and answer every trivia question about that move ever asked, doesn't mean that she gets putting long words in alphabetical order. Oh precious girl. If you'd just tell mommy that you don't get it, mommy wouldn't think you're trying to get out of your studies. But, sometimes, she doesn't understand how to communicate that either. And that, too, is ok. 

I don't expect them to "walk up all those stairs" every day and things always be pinterest perfect for any of us. We are all still fairly new to this whole homeschool thing even though it's our second year. We didn't start out doing it from the beginning, and we certainly aren't going to be perfect. I guess that's the beauty of it though. Trial and error. We can try as many times as we need to until our errors are minimum, and if that means spending a little more time on something, then so be it. 

I want all three girls to enjoy this experience and they can't do that if I'm frustrated constantly with what they are or aren't doing. I expect them to complete their work, but I need to remember that we're not homeschooling so we can model ourselves after public schools. We are doing this so they will get one on one time with their teacher, so they don't have to be rushed and feel inadequate if they don't understand something, and so I can enjoy them for as long as possible, by picking up and doing what we want, when we want. 

In closing, I'd like to state that I only quit for a few minutes. Never will I ever quit doing what I feel like we're supposed to be doing for our girls. It's not always going to be easy, as today proved, but the vast majority of the time, I love it and I wouldn't have it any other way.